In Between Moments

Sunset at Montmajour 1888 Van Gogh

Our experiences pan themselves out in between moments that are true to the yearning of the heart and ones that paint false images for an easy exit. While one moves to the echoes of a yearning heart, I guess there is also a degree of adversity. Adversity in this case is probably a little harsh but intentional. Some of us live in moments between blood running thin and blood running black. We find ourselves in between infinity and absolute certainty. We find ourselves at odds with moral ambiguity with ourselves because sometimes it is the only way to navigate the many (and often endless) twilights that outline our lives. Were we truly fair with ourselves when the universe bargained the price of authenticity with us at our expense? There is adversity painted everywhere when we put ourselves into a universe of perspective that only grows. Of course, there is remarkable pain in this experience.

It is so much easier to quit. An easy quit. Bury the authentic. Falsehoods as a dialogue with ourselves fosters the quickest comfort and pleasure. We then replace self awareness with easy checklists and gratification. Solitude is replaced with the death of perspective. The noise from the outside is compelling enough to become a compass that leads us away from a fair bit of soul stirring perspective. Fear of the self truly compounds this mad experience. At this point, one might hope that any cope works. Something that leads to faster endings. Swaying away from composure and closure, every ending in between moments takes one further away from being real. Well, at least for a moment but many times over.

An ending is often easier than the demands of an ambiguous twilight that sways a blade above our heads. The end is easier because it is easier to quit than to bid yourself against your time and come in terms with being real. Authenticity is either the gravestone of the old or the cornerstone of the future. In kinder times at a lesser expense. In the best of times at no expense.



Simply Writes

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